If you find yourself worrying (obsessing) over whether you left the oven on after you've left the house time and time again, this article is for you.

I remember years ago how my grandmother, who was then living alone in her own home, used to call my father several times a day to see when he was coming to fix something she had asked him to do. We realized that this was how she spent her time -- worrying about small things, like a small crack in the sidewalk or flaking paint on the front porch railing.

At the time, my dad was running the candy business so her requests were often not his first priority. He was always willing, though, to do them when he could.

Not good enough. My sweet grandmother would continue to hound - I mean, call - him several times a day to see when he was coming. It was much easier for him to just fix what she wanted, except that never ended the cycle. After he was done, she would be on the phone the next day telling him about something new that required his attention. And on it would go.

We used to laugh together about this until my dad got older and ended up doing the same thing. My sister joked that he had turned into Nonna.

But watch out. I think I may be on the road to morphing into her, too.

Obsessional Thinking

This over-focusing, or obsessional thinking, is not unusual in people of any age, but seems to especially crop up as we get older. How many times have I left the house and been forced to go back to check if I had turned the coffee pot off? (Most people worry about leaving the iron on, but since ironing is not in my repertoire, my brain chooses to fixate on something else.)

Once we enter this realm of thinking something over and over and over, stuck just like a broken record or a skipping CD, as my friend and psychiatrist Patty McGuire puts it, it's hard to stop the insanity.

Patty suggests that this tendency to over-worry may be a sign of anxiety. "If we start having short-term memory problems, we might become increasingly anxious about our forgetfulness," she says.

And to be honest, as we get older, we also gain a greater understanding of the transient nature of our lives. "Our bodies don't work as well anymore and our minds may begin to betray us," she adds. "If this increases our general level of anxiety, we might overly focus on things we have a chance of controlling," like whether we have left the coffee pot or iron on.

In other words, because we realize we are forgetting more things, we heighten our defenses and try to be more on guard so we won't lose any more information.

Repetition as Memory Aid

"Over-focusing might also be a (sub-conscious) strategy to assist memory. Repetition can enhance the chances of remembering something," Patty says.

This obsessional thinking might also be a result of the feverish pace we have set for our lives. We are doing so many things at the same time, thanks to the much ballyhooed multi-tasking theory, that we are not "mindful" of any one thing and then can't recall if we did it or not. (Did I take my vitamin today or was that yesterday? Did I send an email to my secretary about an upcoming schedule change or just think I did?) This could give us additional anxiety, causing us to worry even more, not an attractive concept.

Worry not (so much)! Here's How

Psychiatrist Patty McGuire offers the following tips if you feel like your brain has become stuck like a bad recording of "InnaGaddaDaVida" by Iron Butterfly:

• Take a self-inventory. If your memory seems to be causing you real problems, a visit to your family doctor is a good place to start to rule out physical as well as emotional problems.
• Devise some simple memory strategies. Making a checklist of what needs to be turned off when you leave the house is a start. Just remember to check it before you go out!
• Add some "mindfulness" exercises to your life on a daily basis. Practice focusing on your breath and on what you are doing in this exact moment. This may seem easy, but it is deceptively difficult to do because our minds tend to wander off to the next thing on our "to do" lists. A good resource for this is "Mindfulness Meditation" by Jon Kabat-Zinn.

By Teresa K. Flatley
2003