My son, the Marine
By Teresa K. Flatley

What do you say when your son comes to you and says he wants to join the Marines? After all those years of being the good parent and telling your children that they can do anything, that they should follow their dreams, whatever they are, it's a little different when the reality asserts itself that they are going to do just that.

Our son Dan was commissioned as a Second Lieutenant in the United States Marine Corps on December 12, 2003, after completing a tough ten-week course at Officer Candidates School. I'm still not sure that I've come to grips with what this means. Instead, it feels like he had gone back to school—as he had done each semester during four years of college—and we picked him up and now he's home and things are back to normal.

Even pinning his lieutenant bars on his impeccable olive uniform hasn't brought me around to the reality of the decision he has made—one that he is happy with and we are very proud of.

We were there when Dan became an officer, there when he shook hands with commanding officers at Quantico, VA, and took the oath to defend the Constitution of the United Sates against all enemies, foreign and domestic. Just as we had been there when he graduated from four-year-old preschool and cried when his balloon burst after we got home and when he graduated from eighth grade, high school and college.

All of these life events were full of emotions, but none matched seeing him marching with a rifle in a parade of other young people who were willingly committing themselves to protecting the rest of us.

Dan thought about this decision, about what he wanted to do, for a long time. He has always wanted to fly (hence the fighter jet wallpaper border in his bedroom which replaced the rainbow-colored car border we had put up when he was five.). He also wants to do something important with his life and feels that it is an honor and a duty to serve the country, especially after the events of September 11. Who can argue with that?

Dan told me that he usually got one of two reactions when he told people he was thinking of joining the military. The first reaction was that it was pretty neat and exciting; the second was a look that asked if he was crazy, especially since we are at war. (He jokingly said that I fell into the second category, but that was OK because I was his mom. I wasn't alone. Most of the mothers I know had the same reaction.)

Dan has to complete more training before he will be "in harm's way" as the military puts it. Beginning in January, he will be assigned to the Marine Corps Combat Development Command at Quantico where he will undergo a six-month combat training course. He will then attend flight school in Pensacola, FL, for two years before he fulfills his dream of becoming a pilot.

I often wonder these days how centuries of parents said goodbye to a son or daughter who was leaving for the military and war. Right now, I feel an affinity with them that I know will grow stronger as Dan continues in his chosen career. I hope their sacrifices will help me to be strong, too.

I suppose all parents have dreams about how life will be once their children grow up. Mine was that Dan would attend graduate school in Pittsburgh for a few years and come over for dinner once in awhile or maybe even meet me for the occasional lunch. That didn't happen because it wasn't supposed to, I know, but you can't blame a mother for trying.

Dan's brother Steve had to give a school speech recently on "my hero" and chose his brother to talk about. Dan would be the first to ask what the fuss is all about, that he hasn't done anything yet. But we think he has done quite fine. He has turned into a wonderful young man and we are proud of him as we learn how to share him with the country.