Just playing around
By Teresa K. Flatley

Cathy Raphael isn't afraid to make a fool of herself in front of others. In fact, she does it on purpose. That's often the best way, she says, to get others to join in her vocation.

A self-styled storyteller and advocate of play, Cathy believes playing is as important to adults as it is to children. But alas, too many of us have lost the ability to play and enjoy ourselves. Fess up: When's the last time you actually played, not counting sports? The last time you made funny faces, got tangled up in a game of Twister or pretended you were a rumbling bulldozer or a soaring jet plane?

Kids do this sort of thing naturally and who among us hasn't envied them their joy and spontaneity?

We get caught up so easily in the serious side of life, which, of course, can't be ignored, but it can be put aside once in awhile for a few good belly laughs and some downright silliness. But actually letting ourselves go in front of other people? Letting the real "us" emerge? You must be kidding.

Cathy isn't kidding. This artistically-trained woman gave up her other creative pursuits when she discovered play and what it could do for her as a person. Now she wants to get the word out to others.

"I was a very self conscious adult," she says, "and incredibly shy," words which would not be used to describe this enthusiastic lady today.

The whole play thing started when someone asked her friend Ed Lilley (who was doing fun programs for children at the time) why he didn't offer the same kinds of things for adults. So Ed began to do just that.

Every time he offered a playshop, Cathy was there. "It was the scariest and most exciting thing I had ever done," she says, as she began to discover new things about herself.

When her friend Carol Reid, a psychotherapist, was asked to present a program on grief to some of her colleagues, she instead offered to do a playshop. Ed, Carol and Cathy packed up and went to West Virginia to lead the playshop. They were invited back the next year and something began to gel for Cathy.

Play became her passion. "I loved it. With their blessings, I decided to continue playshops," she says.

Now with her newly self-published book called It's our turn to play! in hand, a training manual she developed for other prospective playshop leaders, Cathy has become a play ambassador for our day.

Because a great time at play can be hard to document (this is really living life "in the moment" as so many self-help gurus encourage us to do), Cathy decided the publication of the book would "legitimize what I'm doing." Often when she told people about her new career, they responded with "how cute," obviously not taking the subject of play seriously. But to Cathy, it's very serious business.

"When we play, we expand our personal boundaries," she says, learning more about ourselves and more about what we most often keep hidden from others. We also become more comfortable with our bodies," something that could turn around the lives of every woman I know and most of the men.

And there's more. Laughter, she says, can also release those tricky little endorphins we pursue by noshing on chocolate or through exercise. Endorphins make us feel good and help us achieve that state known as "runner's high," which keeps serious runners moving no matter what.

Cathy has presented playshops for all types of people from children to seniors. Armed with some play paraphernalia like foam balls; rattles, shakers, knockers and drums; a parachute for juggling balls and hats, lots of hats, Cathy arrives for a playshop ready to get people to partake in her zany games. They do and why not? Who doesn't need a little more fun in their lives?

Perhaps if we just took more time to laugh and play each day, we'd be happier people and better able to handle the serious parts of our lives.

And as for making a fool of herself, Cathy does that at the beginning of her playshops to make it less risky for the participants. "See, I've looked foolish and survived," she wants them to know. "It can be done."